Connie Matthiessen In the movie Far From Heaven, four young housewives discuss their sex lives over lunchtime daiquiris. The boldest of the group coaxes the others to reveal how often their husbands want to make love. Can you imagine? Sex is presented as a wifely duty, an activity that, while not unpleasant, is engaged in because one's husband insists on it. Still, while the women roll their eyes at their husbands' appetites, the tone is one of thrilled, bubbling excitement. Half a century later, in a San Francisco kitchen, the subject is the same but the conversation is very different. Seven women are sipping wine around a long, comfortable table. These women are in their 30s and 40s; all have several children.
The state of California passed a groundbreaking bill this week so as to redefines the standard of sexual consent from no means denial to yes means yes. Did you do enough to avert your rape? Did you accomplish enough to confirm that she wanted it? Your present is not inadvertently raping someone! A minute ago what you told Santa you wanted! And to those men I say: You guys! You are reading this all wrong! You just ask yourself: Did this person say, with their body language or their words, that they want to allow sex with me? If they did, go for it!